Should I respond to him after no contact?
Ultimately, the choice to reach out to an ex after a period of no contact is totally up to you. Just make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons and that it won't actually make your heart hurt more now than it did before you hit send.
It is definitely OK not to respond to an ex. In fact, in many circumstances, you might find that it's best you don't respond, especially if it was a toxic relationship.
It's usually when you break up on good terms that you can remain friends with one another. If the idea of a friendship is something you both agree to, then responding to your ex's text is not a bad decision. It depends on what your ex texted you, however, if you're keeping it platonic you'll be good to respond.
For a typical breakup, wait at least 30 days to text your ex-girlfriend. According to the famous no contact rule, 30 days is enough time for both of you to get in a better headspace and healthily process your feelings.
- Think about how it will affect you. ...
- If you're currently dating someone, you should consider their feelings. ...
- Take your time responding. ...
- Keep your response light. ...
- Don't rush into a response, friendship, or rebound. ...
- Be open and honest with them.
A neutral response
I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. Tell me about what you've been doing in the last couple of weeks.” This neutral response doesn't set up any expectations and gives you some time to converse, feel things out, and then decide based on how you feel.
While not commenting on the narrative of right or wrong, ignoring your ex is, without a doubt, a very helpful way to give yourself scope and time to get over the breakup and move on. It isn't so much to do with your ex as it is to do with your growth and healing process.
Don't be hasty. Don't text your ex the moment you have the thought or the urge. Instead, go do something else to distract yourself, and see if in 30 minutes you still have the urge to text them. Watch a movie, take a bath, go to a workout class, whatever feels good for you, and leave your phone out of reach.
Texting an ex not only depletes YOU of your precious energy, but it also charges up someone who has harmed you in the past. It buoys someone who exploited and used your energy during the relationship, even out of the relationship and in return for nothing.
Probably he wants to feel light and find his mental peace by connecting with you and maybe even arguing with you. When keeping quiet on things becomes tough, this is their preferred way of sailing through the rough phase. Loneliness can be another major reason behind his urge to text you.
How should I act when my ex texts me?
- Phone a Friend to Jog Your Memory. ...
- Trust Your Gut. ...
- Look Beyond the Words on the Screen. ...
- Practice Restraint When an Ex Texts. ...
- Never Feel Obligated if It Doesn't Serve You.
No it's not Rude at all, it will save lot of time. The more you interact more time you loose, and more delay in moving on, moving away from the current situation. Well when things doesn't worked as planned, then Just move On ASAP. How many of you tried to ignore your ex after you break up?
For an amicable breakup: around 30 days.
Roughly 4 weeks of time alone should be enough to get back into the normal rhythm of the single life. It might feel messy and strange at first, but after 30 days you may find yourself feeling much better. While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different.
"The best time to reach out to an ex is when you've fully processed and healed from the breakup," Moreck said. "In other words, share your scars, not your wounds.
The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.
- They begin to communicate with you.
- They apologize for the breakup.
- They show more affection.
- They discuss issues in their present relationship.
- They try to atone for past mistakes.
- They show pessimism when you tell them someone else is involved.
- They stalk you.
The Separation Elation Stage (Lasting Anywhere Between 1 – 2 Months) This stage encompasses the actual breakup/escape as well as the dumpers relief.
It's difficult to have patience when you want your ex back, but it's a huge mistake to not allow enough time for their dumper's remorse to develop. On average, our successful clients take around three to six months to get back with their ex, and this starts from the time they implement a successful No Contact Rule.
If you get a negative response from your ex I suggest you wait between 2-4 weeks before trying to text your ex-boyfriend again. If your ex is angry for no reason or says he is seeing someone new then I think it is safe to wait 2 weeks.
So, to be hyper specific we believe you shouldn't contact your ex until after you've completed a no contact rule of at least 21 to 45 days. If it's not been 21 days yet then don't reach out. If it's longer than 45 days then it's time to reach out assuming you've got the rest of the COOL acronym covered.
What does no contact do to a man?
The male mind during no contact
The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.
Silence speaks volumes
The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
Radio silence simply refers to the act of being distant from your partner in order to make him come back to you. When done the right way, it allows your ex to miss and crave you more. It reaffirms and reawakens the feels he has for you, compelling him to come back.
It can cause emotional trauma.
A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once. Naturally, such emotional confusion can have a damaging effect on your psyche.
Express what you did wrong, say you're sorry, and wish them well moving forward. You might even be able to get some shared closure on the breakup. “I've been thinking a lot about what happened between us, and I'm sorry for how I acted. You didn't deserve that.”
Is it selfish to talk to your ex? Remember: There's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to your ex, and it's completely OK to want to reach out to them. But as Fehr says, it might not be the best idea in the long run. You simply must do what feels best for you, and only you know what that is.
However, it can be detrimental, while you're grieving, to check up on your ex because it can bring back all the negative emotions tied to the relationship and why it ended in the first place. The temptation to check up on your ex is strong, especially when you want them back.
Some coaches suggest that you should ignore a text from your ex when you are in no contact after they broke up with you, but what actually happens most of the time is that you risk helping your ex to move on from you. This calls into serious question the professional experience of the coaches who suggest this.
They Ask Mutual Friends About You
This is one of the most common signs an ex is testing you. Are they constantly checking up on you through mutual friends? It's natural for exes to be curious, but if this happens a lot, they could be testing you.
- They Will React To You In Some Way On Social Media.
- They Ask About You When They Run Into Mutual Friends.
- They Log Into Any Shared Accounts.
- They Change Their Social Media Behavior Completely.
- They Try To Get In Touch With You At Weird Times.
How does my ex feel when I ignore him?
1) He will feel rejected.
If your ex is one of those people, then ignoring him will definitely have this effect. This is especially likely if, back when you were still together, he's proven himself to be the kind of guy who wants attention all the time.
- Immediately after you start it.
- Limited no contact breaks.
- The day/s where you aren't hearing from them.
- When the roller coaster impact goes into effect.
At the very least, the no contact rule requires that you keep radio silence for 30 days after the breakup. Depending on your situation, that void might have to extent for a few more weeks or months. The goal of no contact is to give you the power of silence after break up.
Going 'no-contact' with someone you spent a lot of time with and planned a future with can be painful. A woman experiencing the stages of no contact is likely to feel angry, sad, and lonely. While a woman is likely to feel sadness in the early stages of no contact, she will quickly get over her ex as time goes on.
- Remind Them Of A Good Memory.
- Let Them Know You're Thinking Of Them.
- Send Them Something Funny.
- Don't Be A Weirdo.
“The No Contact rule is where you don't call, text, or message an ex in any way after the breakup. It includes not talking to their friends or family about them or the breakup itself,” says dating and breakup coach Lee Wilson.
While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
Letting enough time go by that your ex gets over you does exist. This is why we do not want you to sit on your butt and wait for them to text you even after a no contact rule. We encourage you to take control and text them first after the no contact rule.
Texting him is also a good way to show that you are not that petty and out to nitpick the small things. In other words, reaching out to anyone if you haven't heard from them all day is totally okay. So go do it.
If your ex texts you during no contact, you should text back politely and casually. If your ex calls during no contact, it's somewhat different from a text because you won't have as much time to carefully think about and craft your response.
Is it OK to reach out to an ex?
You can still reach out if you need closure or feel like you should apologize for something you did in the relationship, but be sure to directly state that you're not looking to get back together—you just want to talk.
“Hey, I hope you're doing well. I don't want to disturb you, but I need to get my things to your place. Please let me know when that would be possible.” If you're stuck and need your things, then after the no contact rule you can use this text to text your ex first and go get them.
When you go silent on a man, it makes him miss you more and think of how to come back to you. Indeed, silence after a breakup is usually frustrating and confusing for anybody; let alone for a man. Men respond to silence and distance emotionally.
1 He thinks you're busy. 2 He's trying to brush it off. 3 He might think you're playing “hard to get.” 4 He's worried you're ignoring him because you're upset.
Give it a few days (or even a week).
Waiting 2–3 days or up to a week before reaching out gives him a chance to text you first once he realizes what he's missing. If you've waited more than a week and still haven't heard back from him, it might be time to move on.
Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup. He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time.
So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.